Written on 11/19/20
Holy shit! I’m feeling so much better today. I think hearing from Andrea that she would rather be with a girl….in a different state, made me feel better. A lot better. Was able t talk about it, laugh at it, and have lunch with the guys. Shit is great. Way better day…Man, didn’t have much shit to write this afternoon…
So, just got back from drinking….if I’m sounding a bit off, it’s cause of the Vodka, Yuengling, and Rumpelmints. Yummmm. But today, I’e felt like I’ve been bashing on Andrea all day to everyone. Calling her a carpet muncher and shit. Honestly, I still miss her. Still think about her. Even though I felt like she did me wrong. But that is besides the point…Had a great fucking day and night.
You get stronger through each unexpected situation you get pu through. Everyone faces adversity at some point in their life. You can choose to use it as building blocks or stumbling stones. I’ve realized over the past couple of days, they have been stumbling stones for me. But why should they? She doesn’t give a fuck. Why should I? After today, I felt like they have helped me evolve. Grow. Conquer. Yes, I’ve been drinking a lot moer, but still. I think I’ve gotten stronger from this. Everything happens for a reason and I believe this shit did happen for a reason. For once, I didn’t do shit to fuck this shit up. It’s a sign…maybe. I don’t know. Fuck it. I’m drunk and still writing this shit. I need some more Vodka and sleep.
I over heard this argument one day about someone arguing about life and death. He proposed the question, “why are we alive.” I made sure my blunt voice was heard when i said “self-actualization.” He looked at me with a facial expression that I will never forget. He asked me why I said that (which I’m glad he did).
I explained to him my thoughts on it which, to make a long story short, is to discover who we are.
I don’t know about you, but I go on living each day to discover who I really am. It is easy to say the positives about ourselves, but a lot harder to come to terms with the negatives. When you are able to accomplish that, then you truly are a self actualization human being. This process though, takes a lifetime.
Everybody is created differently, and that is what make us so unique. My idea of being alive is simply living. Living in the notion of experiencing life for what it is. Stepping outside of your comfort zone, implementing new ideas, being better than you were the day before, experiencing new facets of life, but most importantly, bringing the best out of you each and everyday that you can.
We are here to live up to our potential. How are we going to know what our potential is unless we push ourselves in every aspect of life. School, work, the gym, etc. You will never know what you are made of unless you try. Fail. Make mistakes. That is perfectly ok. This is what makes you. Learning from failure will better improve you. It will make you stronger. It will make you wiser. It will make u a better person.
As Bruce Lee would say, ” don’t pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”
I hope all this makes sense as I am a little bit drunk while writing this but my thoughts had to come out. I promise to write more about this when I am sober.
What are you doing at 5 A.M.?
Most of the time….life is better lived being spontaneous.
How is it possible to wiggle your fingers or your toes? How is it possible for me to type what I am typing at the moment? How is it possible for me to make any kind of physical movement I want with my body and its extremities? The mind. When you want to move your arm or wiggle your fingers, your mind is sending a message to set off the movement. The mind is strongest aspect of an individual. It can make you achieve things beyond your imagination, or it can kill you.
What is fear? Fear is just a thought of an outcome that could possibly happen in the future. I fear snakes because I am afraid of what could possibly happen if one bites me. Do I know for a fact it will bite me or that I could possibly get poisoned? No, but that is the outcome I am thinking about and that is what puts fear in me.
If you learn to get past fear or doubt that is in your mind, then you will be able to do things that you never imagined. If you see yourself conquering, you will conquer. If you see yourself being successful, you will be successful. People who have visualizations are the ones who have the most ambition. With ambition comes hard work and dedication. With hard work, comes opportunities because a lot of times opportunities are created by the work and sacrifices you put in and are not just handed to you. With opportunities come success.
It is VITAL to understand how a positive mind can impact ones life. What you think, believe, and envision will either make or break you. When I am at the gym or when I am at work, deep in my mind there is always some sort of fear. Fear that I may not be able to lift the weight that is in front of me or that I may injure myself. Fear at work that I may mess up on a project and cost the company money. But you know what I say to myself? Fuck it. I know my capabilities. I push past that fear and conquer what is in front of me. If for some reason I fail and I can’t lift as much weight as I thought or I make a mistake at work, or I injure myself some how, I will learn from it and come back smarter and stronger next time.
Today and everyday is YOUR day. Don’t let anything or anyone try to stop you, not even yourself.
To me, there is no such thing as perfection. It is more of a motivator, trying to be the best you possibly can each and every day. Nothing in this world is perfect, including people. If you are one of those people that consider yourself to be “perfect,” you are not and you need to shut the hell up. Everybody has flaws and that is what make us all unique in our own ways. Embrace those flaws. Be who you really are and if people can’t accept you for you, then they can screw themselves. I have many flaws myself. For one, I am short. I am 5’5. People tend to underestimate me because of that and I love to prove them wrong and use their judgments as fuel for my success. I have a habit of getting attached to people because I care a lot about people in general. Because of that, it has put me in painful situations, which has also made me a stronger person. I make mistakes everyday which I learn from and use it to excel in what I am doing. I get paranoid about certain things, like money, but if I wasn’t then I would not be as financially stable as I am today. My list can go on and on but the important factor is that I do not let people try to change me. I have been down that road before, and It is not one I want to go down again.
So, I am currently in my second week of The Wolverine workout. This workout is wicked. It is always good to push your body to its limits and see exactly what you can do to it. As a friend put it, your body is like a big science experiment. As long as you treat it well, you can pretty much do anything with it. If you don’t like the results, then you can always change it back to what it was as long as you put in the hard work and effort. That is why I decided to try this workout. I have never been one to follow routines, but I just thought what the heck. What is the worst that can happen. So I decided to do it. Along with following this workout, I decided to change my diet up as well. Exercising is just part of the transformation process of your body. Nutrition is the other part….a HUGE part. You do not eat right, according to what goal you are trying to achieve, then you will not be able to achieve your full potential. For those that are interested, here is the link to the website in which The Wolverine workout is listed. I encourage those who are willing to try something different to attempt it, at least for 4 weeks. It will not only test your physical strength, but your mental strength as well.
On another note, I would like to express something that I have been reading about on a man called Joe Manganiello. For those of you that watch True Blood, he is Alcide. He said something in a magazine that just got me thinking. He was talking about how back in the day, people had the tendency to always hold back a little bit in whatever it is they were doing. To still leave a little bit in the tank in case something unexpected happened. Of course, the people he was referring to were cavemen type people who had to fight and kill for their food. They would always keep a little energy inside just in case a wild animal attacked them. People tend to think like this in the gym or in whatever sport or exercise they may doing. They would want to keep a little energy inside…just in case. Well guess what, nothing is going to happen. Nothing is going to attack you. Don’t worry about saving strength for when you are done with your exercising, but instead, use it during your workouts. Again, as Joe stated, you want to give every set and every rep your full effort so that when the next set comes, your thinking “how am I going to be able to pull out these next 10 reps.” That is what makes you stronger, not just physically, but mentally as well.
First off, I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I had a conversation today with my uncle that brought this thought to my head. Everyone has it or has heard it before. It’s that inner voice that everyone hears and some people listen. The voice that tries to keep you from achieving what you want to achieve. Say, for example, you are working out and something inside you tells you that you already ran 1 mile, you don’t need to go any further, or you already did 8 reps with that amount of weight. It’s good enough, you don’t need to do anymore. Listening to that voice inside of you is what separates people from going above and beyond and achieving what they want, or just being ordinary and doing “enough” just to get by. What I’m trying to say is, ignore it. Push yourself. If you see a cookie and your mind wants you to eat it because it tastes good, have enough self discipline to put it down and say no. If you don’t want to workout because “you don’t feel like it” and something inside of you is telling you not to, ignore it and go to the gym. Even if it is only for 30-45 minutes, push yourself past those bad temptations. I just had to let this thought out. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.